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The Secret of a Successful Divorce Is Preparation

Successful Divorce

No one likes the phrase “successful divorce” because divorce is, of course, a failure.  But anything in this world has a best-case outcome and a worst-case outcome, and any divorce that winds up closer to the “best-case” end of the spectrum can be classified as a success in the sense that it could have been worse for all involved.

Denial is probably the worst enemy of the successful divorce: Too many people fail to prepare for the possibility because they don’t wish to admit that their relationship is over.  But once you even suspect you may be heading to divorce, the smart play is to prepare for it properly – a little preparation does nothing to preclude the possibility of reconciliation.

Divorce Prep 101: Consult a Lawyer

People often think of “seeing a lawyer” as an irrevocable step in a divorce.  But a lawyer does a lot more than filing the papers to get the process started.  They can sit down with you and walk you through the implications and tell you point blank what you need to do then to avoid huge problems later.  You may not need to follow their advice if you reconcile – but if divorce does become a reality, you will have taken some basic steps to protect yourself and control the outcome.

Divorce Prep 101: Consult a Therapist

It doesn’t have to be an official therapist – it could be your parents, or your best friend.  The point is, when divorce becomes possible, it’s an emotional time.  A lawyer can help order up your financial and personal life in preparation, but you have to deal with your emotions as well.  Whether its anger, sadness, or confusion – your dominant emotional state will affect the decisions you make about your future, your children and your finances, and the smartest thing you can do is get those emotions under control.  That means talking things out with someone you can trust.

Divorce Prep 101: Don’t Be Spiteful

One of the biggest mistakes people make is believing that their emotional reaction to a spouse justifies anything.  If your spouse has been unfaithful or abusive, you might feel that you can bad-mouth them and hide assets as a way to punish them.

The opposite is true.  These attempts at punishment will backlash against you and hurt your chances of coming out of the divorce whole.  Stay in control and pursue legal remedies.

David A. Johnson has been providing quality legal services in East Idaho. As both a private attorney and as a former Bonneville County Prosecuting Attorney, Mr. Johnson has substantial courtroom experience. Mr. Johnson has handled cases all over the State of Idaho. His primary areas of practice are in Bonneville, Bingham, Butte, Jefferson, Madison, Fremont Bannock and Jefferson Counties. In addition, to Idaho Falls, we serve residences in the Blackfoot, Shelley, Firth, Rigby, Rexburg, St. Anthony, Ashton, Ammon, Driggs and Victor, Idaho. [Read more..]